Sakuntala sitting in the forest talking to her baby fawn
Oh yes, my young fawn, I know I just met him. My goodness, he is lovely though. I still can't believe I woke up this morning just planning on doing my everyday tasks and somehow ended up with a wonderful husband! I love the ring he gave me too! I've never seen a ring that had words written inside it, King Dushyanta. Oh, I can't wait to go be with him! Okay, fawn, I must go get ready for bed, goodnight.
When I woke up the next morning I was pleasantly surprised. My loving sisters were preparing clothes for me to go be with my husband. The clothes had to be very nice, because after I fell for my husband he revealed to me he was a King. He had to leave after we were married in the forest to take care of his people. I was to go to him when I was ready, and bring his ring with me.
The clothes my sisters had made for me were quite beautiful compared to my hermit clothing. However, my sisters were not satisfied that they were Queen-worthy clothing. My father then prayed to the forests, and before I knew it the birds of the forest were clothing me with beautiful flowers and silks. "Oh, thank you, Father!" I gratefully told him.
He replied, "Anything for you, my Daughter, and don't worry: the forest will protect you on your way to the castle as well."
By heart broke into pieces. How could my own husband not remember me? I had to help him remember me. "We married in the forest near my father's cottage. Here is the ring that you gave me," I said. When I reached for the ring, though, it wasn't there! The King quickly became angry telling me I was a liar and should leave. "Please, give me two days and I can find the ring. I'll prove to you we are married," I pleaded.
King Dushyanta replied, "Fine, I will grant you two days. If you cannot convince me, though, I never want to see you again."
I quickly retraced my steps on my journey to the castle. The only way I could have lost it was when I stopped at the river. I raced back to the river and jumped in so I could find the ring faster. As I was swimming, looking at the bottom of the river in the sand, a glowing fish swam by me. Naturally, I followed it. If the ring somehow had powers over my husband's memory maybe it could glow too? The fish surprisingly didn't try to swim away from me. Maybe the skills I developed while raising my fawn helped me with all animals? I grabbed the fish and got out of the river. I pressed on its belly for a while and it threw up the ring! I placed the fish back in the river. I was so happy to find the ring and that this sweet fish could still live.
I ran back to the castle ring in hand. When I got there the strangest thing happened. As soon as King Dushyanta set his eyes on the ring, it was like he changed back into the kind man I married in the forest. I told him he was never allowed to take his ring off again! A short time after we had a boy and he grew up to be very brave and strong like his father. We called him Prince Bharata.
Bibliography: The Indian Story Book- Story VIII Sakuntala
Author's Note:
In the original story Sakuntala and King Dushyanta get married in the forest near her hermitage. He is then summoned to return to the castle for kingly duties, but before he leaves he gives Sakuntala his ring. A short time later when Sakuntala arrives to the castle to be with her husband he doesn't remember her. She goes to show him the ring, but she has lost it. King Dushyanta then lets her to leave and she doesn't look for the ring. They don't run into each other again for many years. When that happens though, she has a son that is around seven years old. That is when King Dushyanta remembers her and realizes that she has been raising their son alone.
In my story I wanted Sakuntala to take charge and find the ring. That way the king would remember her instead of waiting many heart aching years for him to remember on his own. I also wanted to give more insight on her close relationship with the fawn she was raising. I thought that was an important insight to have to show how well she handled the fish that swallowed her husband's ring. That's also why I wanted to include the picture of her and her fawn in the beginning. Another variation in my story is her family. In the original story that I read Sakuntala was living with her adopted father who was a hermit. I decided to have him be her real father and give her some sisters. In a lot of versions of the story of Sakuntala, though, she is alone.
First of all, you chose a really cute picture to go with the story you wrote. Second of all, I really enjoyed the story. It was a sweet, fun tale, and I love that you gave Sakuntala a more active role in determining the path of her own life. I find it hard to imagine that anyone placed in her situation would simply lay down and let the sad fact of her husband forgetting her become real. Great job!
ReplyDeleteMariah, I actually read your Sakuntala story as a part of the blog comments assignment, but when I realized that it was part of your portfolio as well I thought that it would be a good exercise to reread it in more detail and give a more thorough commentary. One thing that I noticed that you could improve in the story is making it more clear what perspective the story is told from. I would like for it to be more clear whether the story is told in first person from Sakuntala’s perspective or just in third person centered around Sakuntala. I think that making that more obvious would help the story to flow more naturally from one sentence to the next. One way you could make this happen would be to try and establish setting more clearly. If you’re establishing in first person it will say things like “I looked around and saw fresh flowers blooming in the meadow.” In third it would say something closer to “Sakuntala looked around and saw flowers blooming in the meadow.” Once again, I really enjoyed the story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWow, I really enjoyed this story. My favorite part was how giddy and joyful Sakuntala was at the very beginning of the story. Her emotions made me excited to see what was going to happen. You did a great job in expressing her emotions through your writing. I also really liked the images you added to the story. I did wonder more about her husband, and how he felt about her. I feel like there was so much emotion with your main character that it made me want to see more emotions from your other characters, as well. You could do this by adding in more dialogue if you wanted. Other than that, I truly enjoyed reading this story. It had a bit of everything to keep your readers interested. This story almost made me think of a fairy-tale. I think you’re doing a great job, and I look forward to more stories from you!
ReplyDeleteHi Mariah,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this story! Your use of strong adjectives and dialogue made this story super interesting to read. Your use of imagery every few lines really makes this story a lot easier to read, and understand the image you are trying to create. I have never read the original story, but I was wondering what the takeaway message was from this story? Maybe you could try to implement one in your story? Overall, this story was really well done. I enjoyed it. Nice work!
This was a cool story! I think my favorite part is that the woman managed to get a fish to throw up! Who knew that was a thing? I also thought it was interesting that the woman was not bothered that for whatever reason her husband did not remember her. She just accepted the fact that the rings were necessary! So interesting! Good job!
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